Conversation Over Coffee (3/3)

So what are you guys in town for?

We’re camping!

Nice! Are you guys driving around?

Yeah, we rented a van to take us there.

Is that the Mystery Machine parked outside?

Yes.

…

I love the hair!

Thank you! The trick is to run a lawn mower over it every morning.

…

You know how I always look for crazy t-shirts?

Yes.

Well, look what I found.

“Ever get the feeling that life is a bird and you’re a parked car?” Well, yes. Some days. Some days that’s true.

And I got this one for Anne.

She could wear that as a dress.

Do you think she will? That’s why I bought it for her. 

I could see her in it. She likes that color.

…

I’m a gap filler.

That’s a great title!

…

You’ve been writing, I hope?

A little bit. Not as much I used to.

Here. Touch my arm. Maybe it will get rid of my block. 

(–)

Yes, I think it did. I can feel it already.

…

Ah cute! Look how cute the rainbow sprinkles are!

This whole place is cute.

It really is.

…

And here’s your cinnamon roll!

Thank you very much.

You’re welcome. Have a great day!

 

Conversation Over Coffee (2/3)

What can I get you?

Something cold.

Something cold? Well, we make a pretty good iced-coffee, if you like sweet.

I’m more of a bitter person. I usually drink my coffee black.

Okay! We can do black iced-coffee too.

Do you have anything thick? More like an iced-capp?

Yep! We can do an iced-latte.

Sounds perfect. I’ll have one of those. 

Sure! What flavour would you like?

Um.

We’re out of vanilla, though, but everything else there we have.

What about fat-free vanilla?

That’s there? Whoops. We’re out of that too.

I’ll get coconut then.

Good choice. 

…

So where are you guys from? 

I’m from Australia, and my girlfriend is from Montreal.

Oh, wow! So are you guys on a road trip?

Yeah! We’re exploring New Brunswick and Nova Scotia. We’re on our way to Kouchibagoo.

Kouchibouguac?

Yeah, there.

You were close. 

…

You’ll be dancing.

Yeah, dancing to the death.

It will be a death dance battle for sure.

…

I hear you make a pretty great iced-coffee.

I do! I do that.

Okay. I’ll take one of those.

What flavour would you like?

Um.

Just don’t say vanilla. Anything but vanilla.

Is it from the flavour shots?

Yep!

Well it’s usually salted-caramel anyway, so salted-caramel!

 
Coming right up!

…

 

 

Conversation Over Coffee (1/3)

I will take an ice-latte and a chocolate chip cookie.

Okay! Coming right up! Also, the price of our cookies has gone up, unfortunately. They charge us more now, so it’s still the same when you think about it. 

That’s alright.

So that will be a six dollar purchase. I’m sorry. They were $1.25, then $1.50, and now it’s like ah – 

Well, it’s not like University where it takes three generations to pay your loans. The increase in some courses is –

Gosh, that’s true. It’s crazy.

…

Hey! Nice shirt! You’re rockin’ it!

Thank you. I designed it myself.

Really?

No.

…

You know you don’t have to tip every time, Chris. I feel bad.

If I get out of here you’ll see me come back in and be like – ah! I didn’t tip! How could I forget the tip?

Please don’t do that.

I won’t. I am OCD but not that bad.

…

We’re talking about losing eyebrows. It’s something to look forward to.

I remember I woke up one day and had only half an eyebrow left.

That must have been traumatic for you.

It was.

…

 

No. 4

“You have to swipe the card.”

“Again?”

“Yes.”

“It’s not working.”

“In and out. You have to be quick. In and out and in and out.”

“After all these years he still hasn’t learned, eh?”

“Yes. 30 years.”

…

 

No. 3

How are you today?

 

Good.

 

Do you collect PC Optimum points?

 

…

 

And you can have ones of these. It’s a chance to win a thousand dollars online.

 

I won’t win. Not lucky.

 

Maybe you don’t win because you never think you will. 

 

I won one at race horse, in Moncton. 35 dollar.

 

Oh, you won at the horse races?

 

Yep. This man give me advice. It was a rain day. Man say on rain day always vote for big horse. Big-hooved horse strong in the mud, you see.

 

That’s really smart thinking! I never would have thought of that. Not that I find myself bidding on race horses often, but still. That’s a really good idea.

 

…

No. 2

Old Man: Are you looking to put a sign up?

Girl: No. Just looking at the ones already up.

Old Man: You should advertise for a boyfriend.

Girl: Don’t need to. Already have one.

Old Man: Should get two then.

Girl: Oh, can’t do that.

Old Man: Why not?

Girl: Because polygamy is illegal.

Old Man: I didn’t say you had to marry the guy.

Older Man: Polygamy? I don’t even know what that is. Will you tell me?

Girl: It’s when you marry more than one person.

Old Man: Well I have two wives. What am I supposed to do?

Girl: I don’t know.

Old Man: I’ll tell ya. I’m going to jump off the Chatam bridge.

Older Man: In them places like India, a man has five wives.

Girl: The religion is different.

Older Man: I could never do that to a person. That is too many women at one time.

Old Man: You think so?

Older Man: Yes. I mean, Jesus Christ, that’s just too much.

…

No. 1

I can’t believe you people! It’s only a game!

You threw volleyballs at two kids!

 

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